Old Folks, Young Folks

[yankydoodle]

TTTO: Keili Atoh

Chorus:
Old Folks, Young Folks
Everybody come;
Come to Gan Yisroel,
and have a lot of fun.
Kiss the mezuzah you'll find hanging on the door,
And you'll hear lots of stories
That you've never heard before.

Adam was the first man,
And Eve was his spouse,
In the Garden of Eden
They started keeping house.
Everything was dandy
And merry, on the main,
Till along came Abel,
And started raising Cain.
Chorus...
Noah was a carpenter
Who stumbled in the dark.
Came across a hammer
And built himself an ark.
Along came the animals
Two by two;
And now you know the story
Of the Gan Yisroel zoo.
Chorus...
Avraham the first Jew,
Was a brave and daring kid;
Believed in only one G-d
When no one else did.
Smashed all the idols
In his father’s shop,
And when Terach came home,
He really blew his top.
Chorus...
When King Nimrod heard this,
He blew into a rage,
And sent his heavy henchmen
To put him in a cage.
They threw him in a furnace
To roast him to a coal,
But little Abe just stood there
Waving to them all.
Chorus...
Isaac was the son of
Avraham's hundredth year.
At the Akeidah
He didn't shed a tear.
He would have sacrificed him
Though his heart was full of strife;
But then he didn't do it,
'Cause he had a dairy knife.
Chorus...
Esav was a hunter
In the wild woolly West.
He roamed around the ranch
And combed his hairy chest
For his birthright,
He didn't really care;
So he sold it to Jacob
For a sandwich and a beer.
Chorus...
Jacob had twelve sons,
Each one became a tribe.
When someone grabbed Dinah,
They left no one alive.
One went into business,
One learned in his father’s tent,
While Jacob paid a fortune
For groceries and the rent.
Chorus...
Joseph was the apple
Of his father’s eye;
But his brother’s dumped him
And told a little lie.
Poor old Jacob was
Left without a hunch.
Thinking that his favourite,
Was eaten up for lunch.
Chorus...
Joseph said, “This time,
My brothers have gone too far,
They sold me to
Potiphar.”
Then he spent
Many years in jail,
‘Till he tested Pharaoh’s languages,
And rated him a fail.
Chorus...
Moses took the Jews
From Pharaoh's wicked land;
He led them to The Promised Land.
When he struck the rock
There rose a mighty cheer;
Instead of water, flowed
Schlitz malt liquor beer.
Chorus...
David was a shepherd
Who saved the Jewish race;
Goliath tumbled over
When he looked at David’s face.
Many were the victories
When David was the king,
The enemy would drop dead
When David began to sing.

Sisro was a general;
He wished to kill the Jews,
But he ran away so fast,
He nearly forgot his shoes.
He came to Yael’s tent
Knocking on the door,
So she O.D.’ed (over dosed) him with cheese
And nailed him to the floor.

Jonah was a mariner,
So goes the ancient tale;
He took a Trans Atlantic trip
In the belly of a whale.
Jonah felt claustrophobic
And very much depressed,
So, he pushed the belly button,
And the whale did the rest.

Daniel was a prisoner,
Brought before the king;
They played twenty questions,
But couldn' t learn a thing.
They threw him in a lions' den
To perform a great feat.
So, Daniel became a dentist,
And pulled the lions' teeth.

Samson was a mighty man
From the New York Dodgers school.
He killed ten thousand Yankees
With the jawbone of a mule.
He had a brother, who was strong, as well;
Samson went to heaven
And his brother went to....Gan Yisroel.